The True and Very Shocking History of Ebenezer Scrooge.
Ebebezer Scrooge was a hard working man.
An elderly gentleman who had to work well beyond what is now the state retirement age.
His only pleasure was to go home to his none centrally heated flat,
eat a simple but healthy meal,
and read a library book about economics.
He cared nothing for consumerism,
but was a strong supporter of
Buy Nothing Day.
He would pass the legalised beggars such as the UCKG* during the season of Gloom & Despondency, which some perverse individuals call Xmas,
and tell them that what they were selling was all humbug.
One night three con men turned up at his door,
and persuaded him to give away all of his money.
As a result of this he had no savings to live on,
and died in penury within a run down council flat.
Let this be a warning to all you pensioners.
Be very careful when your next asked to give your money away,
and always avoid being taken in by the
*Universal Church of the Kingdom of God.